The Alex Osborn Award
Jerry, Kevin, Alan, Richard, Tom & Denis Kegler
All About Osborn, February 28, 2011
(Abbreviated Version)
Charlie Riley (10:34 am)
Sorry for the rush with this, but we are close to deadline…
Unfortunately we’re looking at a very short timeline now. I’m trying to gather all missing materials by tomorrow. We’ll need a 500-word narrative and some professional photographs, both single and group shots.
Alan Kegler (11:34 am)
What? (unquotable phrase)
Charlie Riley (11:43 am)
Thanks Alan. We look forward to your write-up and images.
Jerry Kegler (11:46 am)
Do I need a new bio?
Alan Kegler (11:49 am)
I am going on three hours of sleep. Anyone want to take the lead on writing this 500-word Kegler bro bio statement? Any of you have an idea for photos by tomorrow?
Jerry Kegler (11:51 am)
I have a similar time constraint in that I am working all day today and at a tech rehearsal until 10 pm tonight and tomorrow night. I don’t have any high-res photos.
Alan Kegler (12:03 pm)
I can’t wrap my head around this right now. Not too sure how to proceed. (unquotable phrase)
Kevin Kegler (12:24 pm)
We should have a (unquotable phrase) copywriter.
Richard Kegler (12:57 pm)
What about elementary school pictures? And I think we should find our old neighborhood miscreant (name withheld) to introduce us at the ceremony.
Kevin Kegler (2:34 pm)
OK, I’ll put 500 words together.
Alan Kegler (3:10 pm)
Here are the photo ideas thrown on the table today. (Rhonan drawings, bastardized KC photo, St. Bonnie’s school portraits, photos of us as kids, Tom’s paintings, online imposters). Regarding the online imposters,
I would have a tough time choosing which Kevin imposter I like best.
Tom Kegler (4:15 pm)
Thanks for taking on the write-up. That is fine with me.
Denis Kegler (4:51 pm)
Please just pick one of these and let’s roll with it. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com
Richard Kegler (5:16 pm)
While honored to be chosen and equally honored to share it with my brothers... 24 hour deadline. Really? Is this a test?
James Kegler (brother) (5:25 pm)
You jerks. Why the hell wasn’t I called for the (unquotable phrase) award. My work is creative. You guys are (unquotable phrase).
Denis Kegler (5:30 pm)
We’re sorry Jim. You are definitely very creative. We told the ADDY representative, Brian Grunert, that we really wanted you to be part of the award and he said no way.
Joanne Kegler (sister) (6:00 pm)
You are all jerks. What’s going on with this sexist award crap? Why didn’t you call me? I’m creative. Probably more creative than all of you combined. You’re all (unquotable phrase).
Richard Kegler (6:30 pm)
We didn’t have control over that Joanne. We’re sorry.
Marie Kegler (sister) (6:32 pm)
Jerks!
Tom Kegler (6:50 pm)
Mea culpa.
Kevin Kegler (7:45 pm )
I’m done with the narrative. Anybody want to grab a beer?
Postscript:
June Kegler (mother) phoned Jerry, Kevin, Alan, Richard, Thomas and Denis after 8:00 pm and said the same thing to them all:
Hi Honey, I heard what happened with that Ozzy Osborn Award and I’m really disappointed in you… |
